Friend accuses couple of stealing from the homeless because they went to a food bank after making $1900 a month and spending $1400 on rent: 'That’s not including car insurance, gas, utilities, or anything else.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 18, 2026 8:00 PM EST

They literally have no money left for food after paying all of their bills.

Some people have a narrow view of exactly who should receive charity. They hem and haw about who really "deserves it," because it would be the worst thing in the world for someone who isn't truly worthy to get a little bit of help during their time of need. You are either one of those people who don't really care if someone who "doesn't deserve help" gets a little more help than they need, or you are enraged by "undeserving" people "taking advantage" of a system that was meant to be for those who "really need it." 

The belief that some people are more deserving of help than others often prevents those in need of help from seeking it. This applies to many situations, including mental health. Someone might think, "I'm not really that anxious. If I were, it would be worth going to therapy, but my life is not as bad as other people's, so I shouldn't take away the resource that they really need." If you think that way, there's a 100% chance that seeking help for yourself doesn't take away from anyone else. It doesn't take food out of anyone's mouth to feed yourself, especially if you don't have the funds to do so on your own. If you're making $100K a year and getting food from a food bank to cut costs, you're taking advantage of the system. But if you're trying to scrape by on $35K a year and can't afford the light bill and dinner, you can't get lights from a light bank.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • Side view portrait of young volunteer giving food and donations to refugees and people in need at help center
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The "friend" in this story has little to no understanding of how food banks operate. They think that the food donated is exclusively for homeless people, and any housed person who utilizes it is taking food out of homeless people's mouths.

  • Am I the bad guy? My friend says I’m stealing from the homeless.

    I posted a haul from the food pantry because | was genuinely excited to finally have food.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • I had an interview with them and was accepted for one meal a day and one grocery pickup a week.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • A friend of mine is upset and says I'm "stealing from the homeless." We don't even talk often.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • For context: my boyfriend and I make about $1,900 a month combined. Our rent alone is $1,400, that's not including car insurance, gas, utilities, or anything else.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • A person using a calculator on a desk
    via Cphotos (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • By the end of the month, we're left with pennies just trying to survive. I'm 23, and somehow my friends think I'm doing something wrong because I don't ask my parents or my wealthy grandparents for food.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • I have asked before, but I'm not comfortable having to ask every single week just to eat.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • I don't understand how being relieved and excited about finally having access to food while I'm struggling financially makes me a bad person.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • I'm actively trying to find a second job, and my boyfriend is too. I am trying to figure it out on my own!!
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Food is a basic necessity. We shouldn't have to panic about eating. So how am I wrong here?
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Am I really stealing from the homeless??? or am I just someone who needs help right now?
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Man in black and gray jacket sitting on sidewalk during daytime
    via Clay LeConey

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Lighthouse_on_Mars NTA, Food pantries are there for people who need food. You need it. Very simple concept. Just because you have an apartment doesn't mean you don't need the help. What about single mothers? By her definition, Single Mothers that cover all bills on their own shouldn't be able to use a food pantry because they have a home/apartment. Food pantries are not JUST for the homeless. And honestly, that kind of thinking is very belittling and insulting.
    via u/Lighthouse_on_Mars
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply I agree, I couldn't describe the feeling at first but yes. Very belittling. Thank you.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Fumblesneeze NTA Food banks are for the food insecure. And that's you. They are for you. Not just the homeless. It's a bit odd to post a "haul" like it's a flex. Was it trying to encourage donations to the food bank? Making it clear that food banks are critical community resources that you shouldn't be stigmatized for using?
    via u/Fumblesneeze
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply I was just so excited to finally have some food and wanted to raise awareness honestly. I didn't think farther than that.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Withoutcatsallislost NTA as staff at the food bank deemed it appropriate for you to have access to once weekly groceries. When your finances improve you can donate to food resources in your area if you feel like paying back the assistance.
    via u/Withoutcatsallislost
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply Yes that is the goal one day
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Glass_Author7276 Your friends are full of it. You aren't doing nothing wrong. My question is why 2 people working are only pulling in $1900?
    via u/Glass_Author7276
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply I work at FedEx as a package handler, bad hours but all I can get. My bf works part time as well. Many interviews. Not sure why nothings come of it all. We are hard working.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Username_Here5 NTA I'm happy my donations/taxes go to folks like you, simply trying to get on their feet. Keep working hard OP. Screw the haters.
    via u/Username_Here5
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply I appreciate you!
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Dazzling Mistake_ NTA but posting food hauls from the food bank/pantry isn't really in good taste unless you're just posting information or spreading awareness. Why did you need to post? What sort of attention were you trying to get from it? I think just being grateful and humble is probably the way to go
    via u/DazzlingMistake_
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply I commented on another post asking but I was so excited and wanted to spread awareness but didn't rlly think past that. My mistake.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • chzie NTA There are services exclusively for the homeless. Food pantries are for anyone who needs help. If you gave a homeless person some raw chicken where the hell would they even store it? Food.pamtries also receive finding dependant on how many people they serve, so if you need it and you don't go then you might be hurting other people in your area who also need it. What's really happening with your "friend" that you don't seem to be aware of is that for a large group of people in the US bei
    via u/chzie
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply Ya... I think that's why I'm offended and made this post.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Professional-Scar628 NTA if there was an interview process then you clearly qualify. Your friends are talking about things they don't know shit about, the people at the food bank know what they are doing. The people at the food bank want you to have this food. They wouldn't give it to you if they didn't want to. Take what you need, use the food bank as you need that's what it's there for. You may even be helping them reduce food waste. If you feel guilty then you can always return the favor when
    via u/Professional-Scar628
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply Thank you, yes that is exactly what I plan to do once I am in a better position.
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Elegant Bluebird_460 NTA but why are you posting this on social media? You gotta eat, and it is great that you are able to get help from a food bank. But posting it is just weird. You are actively inviting this kind of attention.
    via u/Elegant_Bluebird_460
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply I was genuinely just so excited about having food and spreading awareness didn't think about the repercussions
    via u/Educational_Pirate52
  • Frigate_Orpheon Hey, you're working! Nothing to be ashamed of. Not sure where you are, but a lot of public libraries have career resources that might be able to help both you and your bf with job counseling and skills. Most people don't even think of them! Reach out and see if they can provide you with some help in brushing up your resume, maybe take a free skill class, job search, etc.
    via u/Frigate_Orpheon
  • Educational Pirate52 Original Poster's Reply Thank you, I'll look into it. I appreciate it!
    via u/Educational_Pirate52

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boyfriend food bank poverty homeless friends girlfriend couples bills social media food money
Scroll Down For The Next Article